C. Levison McGuire It has been forty-six days since my last face-to-face English conversation. I've started speaking in nonsense synonyms, onomatopoeia, even when I'm speaking to myself. I recruit both handles to the same hand (recruit: to bring together). My host's son shows me the baby chicks he's adopted. "They were in the garden. Outside, the dogs kept--the word--ljati in Serbian?" "Bark?" He's not sure. I bark for him. Ruff ruff! And he shakes his head, yes, bark is the word he meant. v It is hard to be a person with depression two thousand miles from home. It's May, and I'm at the Balkankult writing residency in Serbia, doing research toward a novel. I worked two full-time jobs to save up for this, I went without sleep for this, I dropped out of grad school for this. I should be getting so much more out of this. But I'm not. There's something in my head, and I can't fix it. I visited my psychiatrist three times in the week before leaving just In Other Words 63 C. Levison McGuire to get my prescriptions, which he had filled out incorrectly on the first and second try. I called
River Teeth: A Journal of Nonfiction Narrative – Ashland University
Published: May 6, 2015
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