TY - JOUR
AB - England (1) In this poem, A Query, Richard Edwards appears to be defining a ‘dispute’ under the law and practice of English arbitration.5 For those unfamiliar with ‘bubble and squeak,’ a peculiarly English feeding-substance provided to children by English schools and English nannies over many centuries all over the world, it comprises left-over cabbage and left-over potatoes pan-fried in left-over lard or worse. There are also better recipes for the arbitral palate.6 A Query Oh, cabbage, oh, potato, both sizzling in one pan, Please settle a dispute for me as quickly as you can, I’m sorry to enquire, but it has caused me so much trouble: Which one of you goes “squeak, squeak, squeak,” and which goes “bubble, bubble”? Richard Edwards England (2) This Fable on an arbitration award stated in the form of a Special Case under the Arbitration Act 1889 was originally published in Theo Mathew’s collection of ‘Forensic Fables’ by ‘O’ between 1926–19327. It is not a poem; but it is undoubtedly poetry. Theo Mathew was a distinguished barrister and arbitrator before the Second World War; and as a pupil-master, he educated many eminent persons in the field of arbitration and elsewhere, including Lord Hailsham and Lord Diplock. He was the son of Mathew LJ, who was the ‘father’ of the English Commercial Court. (Before the Finance Act 1949, s.35, Sched. 8 clarified beyond all doubt that an arbitration award did not require to be stamped for stamp duty, there were Certain Persons who thought Otherwise). Mr. Sharp, Mr. Bright, and the Award Stated in the Form of a Special Case Mr. Sharp and Mr. Bright, though Barristers-at-law of Twelve Months’ Standing, had Positively Nothing to Do. They Decided that it was Essential to Get a Move on. As Clients were so Shy some Public Demonstration of their Learning and Ability Clearly had to be Made. Having Put their Heads together, Mr. Sharp and Mr. Bright Hit Upon an Admirable Plan. Their Clerk should State an Award in the Form of a Special Case. The Facts should be of Intense Human Interest and the Problems Arising therefrom should be Complicated and Obscure. They would Prepare the Arguments on Either Side with the Utmost Care; the Special Case should be Set Down for Hearing; and, Instructed by Friendly Young Solicitors (whom they could Readily Discover), Mr. Sharp and Mr. Bright would Electrify the Court. There was no Reason why the Case should not be Carried to the House of Lords. All Went Well. The Special Case, Skilfully Drafted by Mr. Sharp and Mr. Bright, was Set Down (at a Trifling Cost) for Hearing in the Special Paper. It was a Masterpiece. The Incidents Narrated were Thrilling but Improbable. The Robust Style of Mr. Edgar Wallace was Wedded to the Quaint Fancy of Robert Louis Stevenson. A Marriage, Invalid by the Law of England, but Valid by the Law of Tibet (in which Country the Wife had been Domiciled as an Infant), had Resulted in the Birth of an Expectant Heir. After Mortgaging his Reversion to his Mother’s Tibetan Estates to a Money-Lender the Expectant Heir had Insured his Life. The Policy he had Assigned to a Person who (Intending his Death) Chartered an Unseaworthy Yacht in which the Expectant Heir was Drowned. Before being Drowned the Expectant Heir (when Slightly Intoxicated) had Made a Will Devising the Mortgaged Lands to a Society for the Abolition of Gaming, Wagering and Church Establishments. The Mother of the Expectant Heir had then Married a Clergyman in Shropshire who Obtained a Divorce and thereafter Married the Money-Lender’s Widow. The Opinion of the Court was Asked upon the Various Nice Questions to which these and other Collateral Events Gave Rise. Unfortunately When Mr. Sharp Rose to Argue on behalf of the Claimants, the Judge Said that Large Sums Appeared to be Owing to the Revenue for Stamps; that the Case ought to Go Back to the Arbitrator for his Finding upon Several Matters which he had Left Obscure; and that he would Send all the Papers to the Director of Public Prosecutions in order that the Criminal Law might be Set in Motion. Thus the Labours of Mr. Sharp and Mr. Bright were Wasted. Moral. – Stick to the County Court. “O” (Theo Mathew 1866–1939) Footnotes 5 The Editors acknowledge with thanks Mr Edwards’ consent to the publication of this poem, which appeared in A Mouse in My Roof (Orchard Books 1989 ISBN 1 85213 133 0). 6 In Jane Grigson’s Vegetable Book (Penguin 1978), the author records Doctor William Kitchiner’s famous recipe in Apicius Redivivus or the Cook’s Oracle (1817) for ‘Bubble and Squeak – or Fried Beef and Cabbage’. Essentially, the modern arbitrator should take a bowlful of cooked potatoes, a bowlful of lightly cooked cabbage (or Brussels sprouts), one large onion, dripping, lard or butter, salt and pepper – soften the chopped onion in a frying-pan with dripping, lard or butter, mash the potatoes and chopped cabbage into the pan, cooking top and bottom. 7 These Forensic Fables by ‘O’ were re-published by Butterworths (1961, 1982, 1983 and 1985); they form an indispensable guide to English legal practice; and this extraordinary work today is more widely read than ever. The Editors acknowledge with thanks Butterworths’ permission to publish this Forensic Fable. © 1991 LCIA
TI - England (1)
JF - Arbitration International
DO - 10.1093/arbitration/7.1.58
DA - 1991-03-01
UR - https://www.deepdyve.com/lp/oxford-university-press/england-1-AEbQTerMVg
SP - 58
EP - 60
VL - 7
IS - 1
DP - DeepDyve
ER -