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Towards a Phenomenology of Love Lost EDWARD COLLINS VA CEK, S.J. The loss of a love. Who has been spared the pain and anguish, the restlessness and anomie that arise with the demise of love, especially of a love that once offered meaning and even ecstasy? Whether it is a teenage romance that breaks up or a marriage that ends in divorce, the ensuing suffering is nearly the deepest, dreariest feeling we can experience. Novel- ists, poets, and song writers have given voice time and again to the loss that rends the soul. The poet says, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"; but to one who has just lost at love, such tranquil reflection is swamped by the protest: "Never! I'll never get involved again." At no time is the vulnerability of love clearer than when love ends. But what is the nature of that vulnerability? The technical instruments of modern science cannot explain the experi- ence of the death of love. Such instruments may record blood pressure, detect electrochemical imbalances, measure stress, and so forth. But the experience of love lost remains indifferent to these findings. Without the
Journal of Phenomenological Psychology – Brill
Published: Jan 1, 1989
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