X. Marriage as a Relational Engagement
Abstract
X. Marriage as a Relational Engagement Mary GERGEN and Kenneth J. GERGEN MARY I was a wife before I was exposed to the various arguments against marriage emerging in the past several decades. My first marriage began in 1960, and my second in 1969. It is true that by 1969 I knew that there were alternative partner- ing patterns developing, but I preferred marriage then and I still see great value in marriage today. In fact, I want to argue that while marriage may be constructed in many different ways both positive and negative it may also be unique among current social arrangements in its potential contribution to human well- being1. I realize that there are many feminist arguments against marriage, even of mine. The discourse claiming that marriage is an instrument of oppression against women is a powerful one. My defense of marriage begins with an understanding of the power of the marriage vows themselves. For me, these vows stand as public performatives, as described by J.L. Austin (1962). Public vows are forms of action that simultaneously enunciate and constitute specific forms of social life. They bring social worlds into being. Thus when marriage vows are spoken